Today we are going to talk about a very common insecurity we all have once in a while (especially when we are brand new in our jobs.) That being a fear of not being respected enough by our peers. It’s something that many times is just in our minds, or we are very anxious about our public image. In any case, there are specific things you can do to ensure you get along with everyone greatly and have a great respectful business relationships that can turn into friendships.
Let me first start talking about the “respect matter” being something in our brains. Many times, because we think too much of ourselves, we will misunderstand certain behavior around us and take some things personally. One day for example if a coworker doesn’t greet you the way you wished he/she did, you start wondering: what’s going on? It’s very common and as I said earlier, when you are new to your job it will happen more often to you. Know one thing: that especially if your progress isn’t threatening someone else’s position directly, no one really cares about your public image. I mean, sure we all form opinions for others, but it isn’t all that serious. It is more of a way to tag people and give them descriptions so you can communicate easier with them when you see them. In other words, they don’t want you any harm (most of the times) and they may not be interested in your company and what you do. It’s normal, it’s chemistry. Sometimes you get along with people greatly and some other times it’s a very sorry experience.
If you are getting the feeling of people not respecting you and are certain about the accuracy of your assumption, the first I would suggest as a job coach you do, is check yourself again. How are you treating them? Maybe you aren’t being as respectful as they hoped and they are just returning that behavior to you. Are you always getting into arguments and can’t have a normal conversation? Many times a person that always likes being in tense situations, is ignored by others. It’s not that they have something personal with you. They just want to go to work and do their jobs and get on with their lives. In any case, no matter what the reason may be of this, you should first make sure you are clear on your end. Maybe you aren’t delivering as well as you should be in your line of work. It’s easy to throw the “ball of responsibility” to others. But many times we need to understand that we may hold that “ball” and are responsible for what’s happening.
No matter what, I think public image and those kind of things are nonsense. You can’t expect to get along with everybody. Sometimes you can’t even get along with your family members. So imagine how harder it can be when you are working along complete strangers. If you want to have peace in your mind, don’t worry about your public image and what people think of you. It will only distract you from your work and will always create this “cloud” over you that you will worry about. It will only add stress to your life. My advice would be: Do the best you can do, give it your best everyday, and then the rest will just happen. Make sure you are being responsible on your end, and all the rest really doesn’t matter. You can’t please everyone.
If you were expecting a “magic solution” from this post, I can tell you I didn’t give you it. When it comes to human relationships, it gets too complicated so the best route is the one suggested above. If these incidents were easy to handle with, we would have solved them already. So don’t worry about anything and don’t let this affect you. Keep on moving.
I always welcome your feedback so keep on sending it. Have a great weekend and wait for more posts in upcoming days.